A slight exaggeration I suspect (it’s a common enough name after all and it wouldn’t surprise me to find out that there’s in fact hundreds of ‘em) but nothing particularly awesome about the claim. The reason I mention it here though is that this was the content of a simple football chant, directed at the newly signed Ranger’s goalkeeper by supporters of their arch rivals Celtic. The reason? Well, shortly after joining Rangers FC, the unfortunate (and crap anyway) Mr Goram was diagnosed as having schizophrenia. So the question is, who amongst you (and be honest here because you’re only fooling yourself) wouldn’t have raised a smile having heard ten thousand Celtic fans chanting this abuse as you munched on your meat pie during the warm up? I for one would have choked on the pastry. But is it right to make a joke about someone who has only just found out that they have a potentially life changing disease? You know, I have absolutely no idea. I mean, what exactly are the rules here? Are there any? This question is something that, as a fiction writer who plies his trade on the darker side of comedy, I constantly have to be aware of. For example, in my first novel, Recycling Jimmy, there’s a passage in which the two heroes are dissecting the bones of a rather tasteless idea, that being suicide for profit. The discussion centres on people’s reaction to catastrophe. The whole scene is driven by the Hindenburg disaster and is at best irreverent (remember the footage of that geyser finally deciding that he couldn’t pull the big balloon back down on his own, but unfortunately waiting ‘til he was 200 foot in the air?). Of course, I’m not the first to take this subject matter and use it to underpin a gag. One of my favourite Simpson moments concerns the almost instantaneous destruction of the Duff blimp after it snags an impossibly high antenna. In this case the punch line is delivered by the crowd’s reaction. ‘Awe man, this is the worst air ship disaster ever!’ they cry. ‘Too fast, too fast!’ they complain. I’m smiling again now. So where are the boundaries? I’ve laughed twice whilst writing this, on both occasions at some one else’s misfortune. Well, for what it’s worth (and I’m only putting this out there, I’m certainly not claiming to be an expert here) I don’t believe that there are any boundaries in subject matter; bad taste or good taste isn’t really the issue because taste is such a subjective attribute and so can’t be accounted for with any certainty, especially if your trying to write something that you hope will make people in general laugh. No, the issue here as I see it is not taste but tact. Even the funniest wise crack, if delivered with a lack of tact, will wreck a cocktail party quicker than a turd empties a swimming pool. Case in point there, and consider the following passage from a work in progress. In the scene Danny is trying to illustrate pretty much the same point as I am and he tells his friend, Sam, the following joke. ‘There’s these two scousers visiting New York, just after nine-eleven. Anyway, they end up down at ground zero watching the clean up going on. There’s a crowd there but everyone is behavin’, paying their respects an’ that, all stood in silence with their hats removed and held to their chest. Anyway, one of the scousers notices that his mate’s still got his Burberry base ball cap on so he nudges him and tells him to take it off. Well anyway, stood next to them there’s this New Yorker and he over hears them talking. He gently taps the first scouser on the shoulder and says quietly, ‘Gee, boys, I hope you don’t mind me asking but I just happened to over hear your accent there and I wondered where abouts is it you’ve come from?’. The scouser looks him up and down and then whispers back. ‘We’re from Liverpool pal’. The yank thinks for a moment but of course, he doesn’t recognise the place so he asks ‘Really? And what states that in?’ The scouser looks at ground zero then back at the Yank and says ‘Erm, pretty much the same as this pal.’ Now I have no doubt at all that the subject matter of this exchange could be considered wrong on many levels. There is simply nothing funny about the destruction of the twin towers or indeed the level of urban decay that Liverpool is, rightly or wrongly, renowned for. What allows this joke to exist though is its tact, and in this case I mean the frame of reference from which very emotive issues are addressed. There’s nothing nasty about the scouser’s reaction to the place or the events that happened there. Similarly, the American’s innocence excuses him from any blame in his unintentional slur about Liverpool. The result? Your safe to laugh at this one without being labelled a sicko. Andy Tilley Author: Recycling Jimmy Publisher: Kunati Inc. (September 1, 2007) ISBN-10: 1601640137

“There is only one way that my training can be taken to heart,” Weepasa warned, “and that is if mindfulness is uninterrupted each wakeful moment of each day. Do you understand what I have just said? Each wakeful moment of the day! Initially you will feel lost and confused because when your mind is not permitted to retain recall of what it observes, it becomes very insecure with only awareness without registration. “But do not succumb to fear. Don’t be concerned about your physical health either, for if you are, you will constantly scheme to keep yourself safe, and this will generate thought and break your mindfulness. You truly must be a fearless warrior to reach the key, for you can easily die from the exertion here. But so be it. The effort will serve you well in the next lifetime.” Weepasa just said that I could easily die from training with him here! I finally had to face it; it was time to decide if I was willing to risk everything. After all these years of looking inward, however, I had to ask myself who exactly is was that is risking what? “Life is very short,” added Weepasa. “If all that you do in this brief moment we call a lifetime is to constantly save yourself again and again, you will never face the ultimate challenge. Saving yourself for the future can be an ongoing delusion, for when that future arrives, you will then save yourself repeatedly. Your habit pattern of quitting will become so ingrained that you will create kamma, the inclination to save yourself continuously, and therefore you will never find the courage to go beyond your ‘self.’ “Here you have an opportunity to break this pattern of many lifetimes of fear, the fear of emptiness, but a man such as you will never find his limits until he goes there. Don’t stop halfway as you have done so many times in the past. For once in your uncountable lifetimes, overcome your past kamma and proceed to finality without concern. “Your training begins now. You must practice the inner work of insight every waking moment until you meet the dragon. Seven years of unbroken mindfulness and the dragon will be yours. Never mind seven years - seven months of unbroken mindfulness will accomplish your goal. In fact, if you maintain unbroken mindfulness here for only seven weeks, you will find your key. Disregard seven weeks, for you, seven days of unbroken mindfulness and you will become a key keeper. “You may ask one question.” The question arose spontaneously in my mind, but it didn’t come from me. I couldn’t say where it came from: “Why help humanity if they posses no self?” Weepasa’s answer was immediate, almost as if he anticipated the question, “Because humanity suffers.” And with this, the master waived me off. I left Weepasa’s room with mixed feelings of apprehension and expectation. This definitely would be the most intensive thing that I had ever attempted, for even in the cave I had some control. Now, I would not be in control but would undeniably be completely free to remain within my inner work because of the structure and support here. This was the Master of Insight that the sorcerer had promised, and I knew that I was very close to the Dragon of Atta. I must not falter. How difficult could it be to maintain complete mindfulness for a mere seven days! I began the schedule and quickly discovered that relinquishing control wasn’t easy. After all, I had been controlling my life for over seventy years! But, for some reason, my trust in this teacher was unconditional, and I found that by following this extremely restrictive training of the mind, I was able to let go of my “self,” little by little. I did this by being aware of each thought impulse as it arose, as well as the physical emotions and mental feelings, and then releasing them immediately. I sat perfectly still during my inner work, not moving once I settled into my position. Any inclination to move was always preceded by a thought or physical sensation that I would let go of immediately therefore invalidating the action that would have normally followed. If I felt the inclination to move, I would release the inclination. This involved becoming mindful of all those initial contacts with my body or mind that precludes action, so that I could see the stimulations clearer and not be so automatic and unconscious in my responses. If the body needed to relieve itself, I noticed the initial sensation in the bladder and the building impulse to urinate. I found that practicing the inner work while walking was not much different from sitting, except that if I became very mindful during walking, the mindfulness became even more refined when subsequently sitting. While on the walking paths, I did not associate with anybody, no talking or looking around, not even a sideward glance. This was enormously important because I knew that only a one-minute conversation; a one-minute escape would ruin my mindfulness for days - if not weeks. I walked at a slow to normal pace from one end of the path to the other with my arms hanging relaxed and my hands clasped in front. I didn’t consciously direct my attention to anything once the walking began. There was only the walking, keeping my eyes two paces ahead on the path. With my mind aware and concentrated, I paid strict attention to the various sensations that arose, and then immediately released them, such as the sensations of the feet touching the ground, and the various joints moving. In many ways, I was becoming my own teacher, where something beyond myself was helping me see, or rather ‘feel’ in my heart. With the help of my years of inner work, it became known to me instinctively that this mindfulness must be unbroken. One peek away from my mindfulness during my walking practice would ruin it, and therefore I kept my focus intense, and remained within each moment as if I was perched on a high wire hundreds of feet in the air. My mind struggled and attempted every diversion to free itself from the restraints of this intense inner work. Severe doubt resurfaced, and memories of the past attacked me. I was well aware that these kinds of doubts and hindrances were merely indicators that my deluded mind was squirming, and that the practice was becoming effective, so I didn’t fall prey to any of the beginners’ mistakes of succumbing to uncertainty and reverie. I knew that if I did yield to these things, Insight would be finished. I tried to never think without being aware that I was thinking, and never talk to anyone. I was completely self-enclosed, and since everything was provided for me, I could simply follow the bells. One bell meant that it was time to sit in my room and practice. Two bells meant walking practice on the paths. Three bells announced the meal in the main building and four bells alerted me it was time to sleep, while five bells awakened me. My entire existence consisted of alternating periods of sitting, walking, eating once a day, and four hours of sleep each night. This was my training - simply following the bells and remaining in a constant, wide-open awareness. There were, however, troubling things that were not completely resolved in my mind, and they irritated me. I tried to merely watch them as thoughts, but they invariably returned, torturing me every day. I knew that I would need more help before my mind could relax enough to progress, so I risked seeing Weepasa again. (To be continued) (hr) E. Raymond Rock of Fort Myers, Florida is cofounder and principal teacher at the Southwest Florida Insight Center, .SouthwestFloridaInsightCenter.com His twenty-nine years of meditation experience has taken him across four continents, including two stopovers in Thailand where he practiced in the remote northeast forests as an ordained Theravada Buddhist monk. His book, A Year to Enlightenment (Career Press/New Page Books) is now available at major bookstores and online retailers. Visit .AYearToEnlightenment.com

Top Writers Around the World will write for you; outsourcing The content of your site tells a whole lot about your website. They will basically describe what your site is about and also tell people what your site has to offer. Articles and website content makes a whole lot of difference in your site because they can catch the attention of your website visitors and keep them in there. With good website content you get the benefit of clearly depicting what it is you want to share with people. Also, good content and articles can lead people to your site. With more traffic, you get to earn more from your site making it profitable. A sites success, be it for profit or not, is the number of the flow of traffic in your site. So how does good content and great articles get you traffic? Well, many search engines rely on the keyword and keyword phrases of a site to put it in their results list. If your content contains a good number of keywords and keywords phrases, it may be chosen to be a part of the top listed sites in the search result pages. But before you think of just plastering your site with all the keywords and keyword phrases it could hold, search engines also filter out that abuse. You must have good well written articles that incorporate the keywords and keyword phrases properly in their content and articles. There are many of those who cannot afford the time to write their own website contents and articles. While writing content and articles specifically designed for the internet may take some getting used to and some researching and learning, there are many writers that can be found all over the world who could do it for you. Many of us do not have the time to learn web content writing and article writing designed for the internet. There are writers who have great experience in doing this and charge only a minimal fee for such work. Writers like this can be regarded as experts in this style of writing and can greatly help your website to get that coveted spot in the search engine rankings. Other than getting your site in the web results page of search engines, they can also provide your site with meaningful articles and content that can impress your website visitors and entice others to view your site. Every website could use the extra traffic website visitors could invite. Then there are those who need papers to be done either for their school or office work. Top writers around the world are very knowledgeable and do extreme researching to get a job done right. They are also very adept in many writing styles that are needed to best suit the client?s need. Many writers around the world charge a minimal fee depending on the type of writing job needed and the number of words needed in the content. Usually, a two hundred fifty worded article would cost from 4 to 8 dollars depending on the writers experience and ability. This is a small price to pay for having a content rich site or for a well researched and written paper. There are also many sites that can offer you these services with their team of well trained and experienced writers. They offer many writing services to cover any writing needs. A writer can be based anywhere in the world and are guaranteed to offer good contents and articles. Each one are doubly checked, edited and proofread so that you would get your money’s worth. Finding a good writer or a site that offers these kinds of services is simply done by searching for them in search engines. Type down your keyword or keyword phrase (e.g. Content Writers, Article Writers) and you will see a long list of sites that offer these services. The top sites would probably be the best since they have done a good job of keeping their content at a high quality to get them high rankings. But you may also want to shop around and read some of their sample work to get an idea of how much it will cost you. If you have any questions please contact us .Amintas.com or mailamintas.com.

An essay is a piece of writing that discusses or describes a particular topic. An essay can be written to state personal opinions, persuade opinions of others, describe an object or just to report a specific information. There are several ways on a href=”.payforessay.com”>How to write an Essay. Described below is what to know about different types of essays: An essay is a piece of writing that discusses or describes a particular topic. An essay can be written to state personal opinions, persuade opinions of others, describe an object or just to report a specific information. There are several ways on how to write an essay. Described below is what to know about different types of essays: 1. Descriptive essay- A descriptive essay gives details about something. It may describe how an object looks, behaves, tastes or sounds. A descriptive essay may also be written to describe how something happened. Descriptive essays are written to provide details about an object. 2. Definition essay- A definition essay defines a particular term. However, the definition is not restricted to the dictionary definition of the term. A definition essay is written to explain the term in details. 3. Compare/ Contrast essay- A compare and contrast essay is used to discuss the similarities and differences between two objects, people or concepts. A comparison essay is written to describe the similarities between two objects whereas a contrast essay is written to describe the differences between two objects. 4. Cause/ Effect Essay- A cause/ effect essay explains why an event took place and what the result of that event was. This type of an essay studies the relationship between two or more events. A cause essay is written to describe why some event took place. An effect essay is written to describe what happened after the event occurred. 5. Narrative essay- A narrative essay consists of the narration of some event or a series of events. It usually tells a story. A narrative essay is written in a conversational style in the first person voice. 6. Process essay- A process essay explains how something is done. A process essay is in the form of step by step instructions that describe how a specific task can be done. 7. Argumentative essay- An argumentative essay is written to persuade the reader’s thoughts. It consists of arguments that can convince the reader. 8. Critical essay- A critical essay is written to perform an analysis of someone’s work to find out the strengths and weaknesses of the work. It can be written about another essay, a book, a poem, a piece of art or a movie. 9. Expository essay- An expository essay is an explanatory essay that consists of a description of some subject. 10. Reflective essay- A reflective essay is written to reflections or thoughts on some topic which is generally of an abstract nature. 11. Imaginative essay- An imaginative essay is the one in which one’s imagination plays a main part. 12. Classification essay- A classification essay is the one in which things need to be arranged in different categories and explanation of the category follows thereafter. To write different types of essays successfully, one needs to know peculiarities of each essay type including the structure, exactness and the way of presenting the essay. The three main considerations before you know how to write an essay are as follows: • What is being written about? • Who is the target audience? • What is meant to be conveyed in the essay? When these things are understood, the write can create an effective essay with the best style. For more information on different types of essays, one can search the internet as various essay writing teams provide help and guidance on such services. Jordan Kavoosi is the managing director of .payforessay.com, which is the leader in market of Essays How to write an Essay, catering to the needs of Clients all across the globe.

Plagiarism is a crime that anyone in the writing profession should avoid. Copying work of others and making it appear that you are the one who wrote is strictly prohibited in any profession especially in the field of writing. If this act of copying the work of others is a crime among professionals, the same thing holds true among students especially if that person is studying in a writing course or any other course in that matter. Plagiarism will definitely hurt any student and will put his reputation and standing as student in jeopardy. One ill effects of plagiarism among students is tarnished reputation, once the school community realizes that you committed plagiarism they would think of you in the negative and will doubt your skill in writing. Another negative impact of plagiarism among students is the loss of confidence in writing, by taking short cuts in the writing process; the student did not allow him or herself the opportunity to learn how to write. With his failure to learn the skills in writing, there is big chances that the student will again plagiarize in the future could further dampen his or her chances of success. Aside from the students, the teachers and parents of these people would also be hurt if ever they commit plagiarism. The teacher of a student who will commit plagiarism will feel like that the student is disrespecting his or her status and mentor when he or she decided to plagiarize the work of others thinking that such actions will not be caught. The parents of students who will plagiarize will also be hurt since it would be hard to think that their very own child whom they constantly reminded to be honest commit cheating by plagiarizing the work of other people. The reputation of the parents from the eyes of other people will also be badly affected if ever their own flesh and blood commit the crime of plagiarism. With the negative things, it offers students should do their best to avoid it even if the temptation of getting good grades is high, since there is a strong tendency it can ruin their future if they continually commit this illegal activity. Wade Knoxville research papers

Students required to write papers in academia places to demonstrate and articulate their education progress. The typical flavors of papers include: course works that cover various questions about your course or subject; essays

At a very young age Sulumits accompanied Ahemar on his daily hunting trips. About the time when the top of Sulumits’s head reached to his companions shoulder they took off together on their longest one, which was to become the telling story of how the young Retsambew was following in his grandfathers steps. Soon after sunrise one morning, they left the others knowing that they would not return for days. There was a nearby city kingdom that they learned about from the few travellers who had passed them. Near by they discovered was an ancient trail that led to many little city kingdoms throughout the island. They were to go to Paphos, the nearest of such kingdoms, west of where they were on the shores of the Mediterranean. The kingdom of Paphos will have many needed things to make their life better, with its small shipping harbour where trade with ships travelling east and west brought many of these items. If the journey went well and the people they meet are friendly, then Ahmer and Sulumits would bring Fatima and the rest back to live in the city kingdom. This was a special day and they had waited patiently for it. It has taken a long time to collect enough sheep skins and wool to make this journey and make a trade worth their while. Something was different about this day, Ahemar and Sulumits felt it and talked about it. Ahmer told stories of places he had travelled and seen, the feelings he felt whenever he experienced something new. While Sulumits daydreamed about his first encounter with such places and imagined what Ahmer experienced and anticipated what was awaiting all this to await him in the Paphos. As Ahmer told his stories he was also occupied by the pain of growing old. The numerous beatings that came on regular basis as a child growing up as a slave, and even hard falls in Cyprus in the first months after arriving while learning his way around the area and learning to hunt. The pain became so severe; Ahmer finally had to tell Sulumits that the 5 day trip will take them one day longer as he will need to rest for one. Although the young Retsambew was young, very strong and a good hunter, the thought of him alone was very hard for Ahemar. He loved him more than anyone or anything he has ever loved, he was like the son and the family he never had. Sulumits went to catch some food to eat with the bread and olives. The first opportunity to capture a bird came quickly and what should have been a very easy kill of a large bird, was unsuccessful. The bird taunted him leading him further and further into the hills until the sun began to fade and hours passed without any thing to show for it. Sulumits finally realized that he would have to return empty handed. It would be difficult to navigate his way back to his camp in this strange country in the dark and it would not get any easier if he waited. Returning without anything was uncommon for him. To be gone for so long and without a meal for his oldest friend who has been taking care of him all his life was very hard to do. In the morning they were on their way before the sun began to peak from behind the distant mountains, another hot day as the temperature was already soaring. Sulumits realized that his companion was a little weak and offered to extend their stay to rest for another day. Ahmer would not consider delaying as staying where they were and letting what little food and drink they had dwindle was not smart. —- Read Sulumits ritsambew Part-II Read Sulumits ritsambew Part-IV Cleo is the owner of Cyprus marketing solutions Ltd. a Paphos based company providing proven internet marketing solutions specializing in Real estate and also works on SEO. The Sulumits ritsambew story is a the firs part of a SEO contest. If you like the story please let Cleo know by visiting the Sulumits Retsambew blog

The path that leads to an appealing job offer always starts?and unfortunately often ends?with your CV. It takes a busy HR director just seconds to review your CV among a pile of others, and make a quick judgment: In those critical few seconds, only your writing skills influence his or her decision. Before you dive into reading articles and books that teach you how to write a good CV, remember: Much of the impression that you leave on a potential employer comes from the level of your English writing. Since you haven’t had the chance to meet with that potential employer and convince him or her why s/he should choose you among all the candidates, only your writing skills reflect your image. Therefore, there’s no doubt that a professionally written and creative CV dramatically increases your chances of gaining an interview with that potential employer. How to write a good CV by using advanced technology solutions Recently, some ambitious developers took English writing to the next level, developing a smart, self-learning technology called Natural Language Processing; this technology constantly analyzes millions of documents and text phrases, maintaining a growing proprietary dictionary database that simulates the human mind, so that the end user is provided with an accurate online grammar check and spell check solution. This innovative technology compares the analyzed results with the user’s existing written text?a CV for example?and automatically performs a punctuation check, language enrichment (using an advanced online synonyms dictionary), and grammar and spelling correction, eventually transforming a plain old CV into a professional and appealing “ticket to ride”. Benefits of using professional grammar software to write your CV: (1) Makes your CV stand out from the rest, thereby increasing your chances of getting an interview. (2) A potential employer will perceive you as intelligent, professional, and trustworthy. (3) Prevents embarrassing spelling or grammar errors that can cause you to lose an appealing job offer. (4) Eliminates job-hunting stress, as you no longer need to spend hours writing, checking, and rechecking that CV. (5) One writing solution contains all the editing tools you need to write a professional CV. Learn more about how to write a good CV and other useful documents by using an advanced English grammar software. © 2007 Gil Lavi. All Rights Reserved

The main function of the business writing is to convey your message or thoughts effectively to the reader. In business communication, the receiver of the message should be able to understand your message immediately, and this can be possible only when you write your message with simple and familiar words. Following tips can assist you in choosing the right words for clear and effective business writing. Use familiar words: Use of familiar words is the most important rule of word selection in business writing. Always use common and familiar words of everyday use to make your message easily readable and understandable. Use concrete words: Use concrete words instead of abstract words in your business writing. Concrete words such as bank, chair, telephone forms clear and sharp images in our mind as opposed to abstract words such as performance, inconsistency, which creates vague and fuzzy meanings. Use single words in place of circumlocution: Avoid circumlocution or use of more words in a sentence than required to express the purpose in business writing. Avoid long sentences: Avoid use of long sentences having many clauses. Sometimes the reader loses the beginning by the time he comes to the end of the sentence. Use technical words with care: Every profession develops its own special vocabulary or technical words. The members of that professional group can easily understand these technical words. But, if you use these technical jargons in your business communication to an outsider, it will sound like a foreign language to him. Avoid use of difficult words: Use English words that are easy to use and understand instead of difficult and high-sounding words. Make your business writing more effective with simple and direct word, and avoid any possibility of misinterpretation of your words by the reader. Use strong and power words: Use of strong words or power words makes your business writing more forceful. Strong words not only drive your sentences forward but also arouse the interest of the reader. Use active verbs: Active verbs make your business writing direct, clearer, more informative and easier to understand. Avoid use of camouflaged verbs: Camouflaged verbs are verbs that are unnecessarily changed to nouns. Avoid camouflaged verbs and strengthen your business writing. Use correct idioms and phrases: Be careful in the choice of idioms and phrases while writing business communication. Use writing software: Use business writing softwares with grammar checker and text enrichment tool for writing effective business communications. Text enrichment tool enriches text and enhances simple sentence to professional one. For more information on business writing softwares available, please visit .truevalue4money.com/businesswriting.html website. Author is a freelance writer. For details on softwares to enrich your business writing or creative writing, please visit Business writing software and for more information on choice of words with examples, please visit Business communication website.

One screenwriter once said “ Don’t go to writing school, they weed out the eccentric impulses within you.’ He emphatically exhorts not to mimic what’s celebrated but surpassing it. Here are practical ways to get that writing habit: 1. Determined which are your most alert hours and put all them aside for writing. Plant yourself in front of your computer or your writing tools and spend as much time as you can there. If you miss a day, get back to work the next. 2. Carry a notebook at all times, anything might be material. Jot down initial inspirations; whatever excites your imagination. 3. Know you subject; don’t skimp on the research. 4. Brush up on your grammar , vocabulary and spelling. 5. It’s best to write the way you talk and think, don’t strain for an effect. 6. Respect your readers. Snag their interest as quickly as possible preferably with the first sentence. 7. Spend time organizing your thoughts. Use sentences, paragraphs, chapters like building blocks. 8. Expand, cut, polish, write and rewrite as many times as necessary, then show your manuscript to a trusted friend for comments. 9. Read the writers you admire and the kind of things you like to write-novels, non fiction, articles, short stories , poetry, movie or tv scripts. 10. Get to know other writers. Hang out with them if possible, trade problems, discuss solutions. Jovita Orais is an avid researcher and writes on various topics like self improvement, success, ways to make money, graphology , tarot etc. Find out what ‘ground floor opportunity is’ and how taking advantage of it can increase your income in the free downloadable e-book at her blog at .articlesvariety.blogspot.com